My life in the pokemon world

The bikers fear me, I know they do, every time I raise the vs. seeker above my head and they are forced to accept my challenge I see a piece of their soul disappear. They know what will happen, they stand no chance against my Pokemon. Levels are meaningless when their Pokemon faint after the first move.
As the first biker fails in his battle I move onto the next ignoring his desperate attempt to psych me out. He fails as well and soon all the bikers have been defeated. I ride around them for a while, rubbing salt into the wounds of defeat. then I raise the vs. seeker again and they try again, praying that this time my Pokemon will stumble and fail giving their Pokemon a chance(y HAHAHA). they fail again and again and again.
Soon I ride off leaving them to wallow in defeat, they don't speak to each other, there is nothing left to say, only the slow cold spiral into a world of humiliation.
the only people in this world that don't fear me are the trainers who haven't yet encountered me. They soon will, and then they will join the bikers in their horror. Sure you might think it's cruel, me forcing creatures to battle until they pass out, but you know nothing about the glory that comes from the fights my Pokemon don't hate me. THEY LOVE ME! I AM THEIR KING, THEIR MASTER, THEIR SAVIOUR!!!

Danny Wallace is back!!!

Just found out Danny Wallace is releasing a new book called 'Awkward Situations for Men' and that he has also managed to secure a pilot episode for a sitcom (of the same name) starring him (and some other famous actors, or semi famous, but who gives a crap) hopefully this book will be as awesome as the others (it will ... lets not kid ourselves)

on another note I have a pot noodle

chicken and mushroom, thanks for asking!

Ham

THAT'S RIGHT! HAM!!!

it went off even though the packet said it was in date and i made a sandwhich and it tasted deisgustinng ...

anyway ...

My room smells like ham =(

LOLZOR

that title was a lie ... i was luring you in, into a world of darkness, a world of hatred ...

and penguins ...

ok that was a lie too ...

I'm Jack (i'm not giving you my second name because i don't know it (it's complicated (like making pie (really complicated pie (Pie is nice (not as nice as penguins (i don't even like penguins that much!!!))))))) I forgot where i was going with this paragraph ... I use '...' a lot ... and i MEAN a lot.

hmmmm, so, how are you?

I'm glad to hear that!!!

bit rude of you not to ask how i am ... but oh well i guess your a rude person ...

it's cool i forgive you ...

OH NO THERES A PENGUIN BEHIND YOU!!!

HA i got you good!

what you didn't look behind you? fine! that was the trick ..

there really was a penguin behind you ...

and now you've missed it! how do you feel now!

I forget what i'm doing here ...